Bill Maher recapped the 2012 election has been and claimed that by election day Romney will be insisting that he, ‘doesn’t want old white men telling him what he can’t do with his vagina.’
Here is the video:
American elections are glorified lying contests and an insult to our intelligence, but they’re not dull. But this one, this one has been like watching Donald Trump losing a hockey fight. I know it has to end. I just don’t want it to. So with only four more days left in this campaign, it means there’s only time for five more reincarnations of Mitt Romney. By Tuesday, he’ll be insisting he’s always been a staunchly pro-gay Unitarian who hates corporations, is proud of his Latino heritage, and doesn’t want old white men telling him what he can’t do with his vagina.
So before it all ends, let’s take a look back at the election that really began on January 21, 2010. That’s the day the Supreme Court voided all election laws, except money talks. And right wing billionaires came out of the woodwork, except for Sheldon Adelson who came out of the waxwork. Now they only had to find the right vessel to carry their water, and that process began in May of 2011 with the first of twenty Republican debates. Featuring a collection of fourth string freaks, creeps, and twistos that made an orgy at John Waters’ house look like The Avengers.
2012 may also be remembered as the election where one candidate was suspected of not being born in America, and the other was suspected of not being born on Earth. But when future historians ask, Mitt Romney? How did we get this shameless weathervane from the planet Kolab? The answer will be because the other choices were Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, the mom from Carrie, and the black guy from Ghostbusters.
But at the end of the day the tea party had spoken. They were against health care mandates, against Wall Street fatcats, and against establishment insiders, so they nominated Mitt Romney. Who tried to placate them at the Republican convention in Tampa with his vice presidential choice of Paul Ryan, an Ayn Rand enthusiast who bragged that he replaced the cheetah as the world’s fastest land animal. The convention was also notable for a speech by Clint Eastwood, who debated Medicare with a barstool. Clint was not the first choice for a celebrity speaker at the convention, but Honey Boo Boo refused to dumb it down.
A week later the Democrats had their convention, a much bigger success. At the end, liberals were filing out of the hall chanting four more years. Of course, it was for Bill Clinton, but still. And things looked even better for the Democrats in September when the infamous video came out of Mitt Romney calling 47% of Americans a bunch of mooching sponges. But if it hurt him it was soon forgotten when October 3, 2012, seventy million Americans watched President Obama boycott the first debate. And get caught off guard by Mitt’s pivot to the center.
In this and the subsequent debates, the Mitt of the primary season. The man who had promised teabaggers and bible thumpers that he could bag and thump with the best of them was replaced by a new Mitt Romney who suddenly liked regulation, and protecting women’s rights, and who was for taxing the rich, and offering foreign aid to the terrorists. Can you imagine if he had said those things during the primary debates? The crowd and the crazies on the stage would have devoured him. There would have been nothing left behind his podium but a clump of magic underwear and black hair dye.
So, that’s it. That’s the election. It is your choice, America. Because for me, it is a win-win. If Obama wins, America wins. If Romney wins, comedy wins.
The 2012 election has been a wild ride that has put the dysfunction of the Republican Party on full display for the nation to see. Mitt Romney is a product of this dysfunction. Only a rudderless party with no idea what they are doing would nominate a candidate whose has a closet full of skeletons and a record that contradicts everything they supposedly believe in. Unlike Bill Maher, I am not willing to do any recaps just yet. We still have a few days to go before voters head to the polls, and who knows what kind of oddities and chaos are waiting for us on November 6?
In the few remaining days that he has left, I suspect that Mitt Romney will take his falsehoods to a whole new level. Romney is going to make last ditch plays that could get more outrageous by the hour. President Obama will reflect the sanity of his party by doing what he has been doing since he returned to the campaign trail. The president will continue to shore up his support in places like Wisconsin, while pushing his advantage in Ohio and contesting close contests in Virginia and Florida.
This has been a crazy campaign, and as Bill Maher reminded viewers, absolutely anything can still happen until one candidate reaches 270 Electoral College votes and becomes the next President of the United States.