Rick Santorum Learns A Lesson About Meaningless Miracles In Louisiana

Mar 25 2012 Published by under Featured News, Republican Party

“Do you believe in Miracles?”  Relax, this isn’t the historic upset of the Russians by the U.S. hockey team in the 1980 Lake Placid Winter Olympics. It’s just Rick Santorum predictably reinforcing the ballot bigotry of the Deep South where the winner must adhere to the principles of destroying the federal government, making sure homosexuals never git hitched and banish all those who don’t accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. That’s it! That’s ‘winning’ in the Deep South. The victory margin was substantial for Santorum, about as many votes as his three opponents combined, but will provide zero momentum going forward.

So the Republican tumult train just pulled away from another presidential primary station.

This time it was Louisiana and the inevitable tumult was created by some gal yelling, “pretend its Obama” as NRA ass-kisser Santorum blasted away at a local shooting range. Santorum was wearing hearing protectors so he didn’t catch his supporter’s suggestion that he envision that he was assassinating the president. He’s already done that verbally and not even Rick would entertain the notion of doing it in any other way. But it does graphically illustrate the kind of people populating the elect Santorum camp. By the way, if you want to open a shooting range, that horrible federal government’s Department of Energy will give you all the help and guidance you need. Just go to their ‘Range Design Criteria’ site before republicans shut down the DOE.

The other revealed nutcase was Greenwell Springs Baptist Church Preacher Dennis Terry who screamed to the edge of a hemorrhagic stroke that we’re a Christian nation and if you don’t like it – “get out.” Or words to that effect. Both stories have been well documented by my gifted colleagues so I need not expand on their excellent accounts.

And who will ever forget Santorum’s West Monroe near-endorsement of Obama should Romney continue on to the Republican nomination?  His goo-goo eyed fellow homophobes, that’s who.

My point is that it didn’t make any difference what the gun worshipping Obama-hater or the full-throated, half-wit preacher said in front of the nation’s media. Not even Rick’s alleged approval of the ‘Kenyan father, white mother’ Democratic president mattered. He got the exact same number of votes, maybe even a few more. His ‘victory’ speech from Green Bay was quite short. He did little more than brag that he had thrown a football around at Lambeau Field and had bowled a turkey (3 strikes in a row) earlier in the day in Sheboygan. Must have imagined all the pins were gay.

Athletic prowess aside, his problem is that not all Republican voters want to symbolically kill Obama or deport those who disagree with them. They’re voting for Romney in the Shallow North and there’s too many GOP moderates to give Santorum any hope of catching up especially since he’s now plumb (or plum; both are OK) out of Deep South states. And come November 6th many of those Republican moderates will vote for Obama.

Newt Gingrich rattled around the state all week, but fell far short of the 25% needed for the immediate gratification of the 20 proportional delegates awarded. There were 26 other delegates at stake. Their allegiances will be decided next month at a state convention and caucus.

Officially, Gingrich came away an empty handed 3rd as he blowharded a couple of requisite “outrageous” comments including the silly blasting of the president for his extremely limited and sincere words of sympathy in the Trayvon Martin case. But nobody was really listening to Newt. I thought I even saw Callista yawning in the corner of the Hannity studio where the Obama tirade was taking place. Face it ex-Mr. Speaker – you’re not copy anymore; save your breath or as Santorum’s favorite preacher would say, “GET OUT!”

Romney and his ‘who gives a damn about Louisiana’ campaign still managed to finish second in spite of ‘Etch-a-Sketchgate and treating the state like a cheerleader would treat the school nerd.

The tumult train will stay in dry dock for a few days before choo-chooing off to DC, Maryland and Wisconsin, Tuesday, April 3rd. I suspect the polls in Wisconsin will fluctuate considerably before the vote, so it’s too early to call that one. For the record, the latest voter (read Democratic voter) repression move in Wisconsin was recently reported in a mailer from People For the American Way. Governor Walker just signed legislation that requires voters to show a driver’s license or ID available at the DMV. At the same time he’s pushing to close a dozen DMVs located in Democratic areas of the state. Why, they ought to recall that slut!

There are some goober bible-thumping states on the horizon like Kentucky and Arkansas, so Santorum might pick up some bargaining chips here and there, while Texas should also be a big winner for everybody’s favorite flaming heterosexual if they haven’t seceded by that time. The only hope for Santorum is a near-term Gingrich exit.

There you have it. Defining a state by its Republican Presidential Primary vote. Possibility of carrying on a cogent political conversation in Louisiana? “Do you believe in miracles?”

 

 

 

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