Mitt Romney's Bad Lounge Act Convinces Desperate Nevada Republicans

Feb 05 2012 Published by under Featured News

For all the glitz and glamor of Vegas and Reno, the Nevada caucuses were more like a crooner lounge act than a big-time showgirl extravaganza as a tiny percentage of the state’s eligible voters made the caucus decisions of how to distribute the state’s meager total of 28 delegates.  Sort of the political equivalent of…”If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? There have been precious few ‘sounds’ out of Nevada.

The sounds that did filter out of the state were quite deafening, however. Take the sound of the Tea Party and the Evangelical crowd suddenly going ape for Romney, who just a matter of days ago was anathema to all this hypocritical bunch considered holy and right-wing. However, their deep faith and hatred of ‘moderates’ runs a distant second to bandwagoning for front-running raw power. They’re suddenly infatuated with this lying, tax-evading, slickster and his giant pro-Romney Restore our Future Super PAC money.

After searching dozens of media sources for a final tally, hours after the fact, the best I was able to come up with was 43% for Romney, 25 for runner-up Newt Gingrich, 19 for Ron Paul, a decent result and a dead last meager 12% finish for flaming heterosexual, Rick Santorum. If my numbers are a little off, blame it on national news organizations taking a post-caucus overnight siesta. Some still had only 43% of the reported vote as of 6:30 AM the next day.

Romney’ only stumble was in acquiring the questionable and perhaps unsolicited endorsement of Donald Trump who had earlier teased Gingrich by sounding like he might be the object of the Donald’s political affections. Not to worry Mittster, it’s all you, buddy. This looks like a match made in heaven. Trump, the egomaniacal king of leverage, bankruptcies and hyperbole could be your twin.

The other sound Newt Gingrich heard was equally deafening. It was the high decibel comments of his fickle money groupie, casino mogul, Sheldon Adelson, assuring Mitt Romney that he would be quite generous should Mitt capture the nomination. This is the same Adelson who has almost single-handedly been keeping the ever-deflating Gingrich effort afloat with a $10 million dollar life raft. That leaves Newt possibly bypassing the near-term caucuses in favor of a desperate super Tuesday effort.

So while Mitt Romney is riding high, Newt Gingrich is mucking about like a 3 AM drunk walking the streets of a strange city. Paul keeps saying he’s winning, no matter how low his vote total and raving heterosexual Santorum is getting a feel for last place.

Sadly, Ron Paul’s garnered just enough support to stay in the race. I previously wrote of his proficiency as a caucus-meister, and it turned out I was partially right. He was better under the caucus format, but by no means, great.

Going forward, let’s look at candidate endorsements besides Trump’s. It’ll give you an idea of what kind of people are willing to tell the public that this is their man and he should be yours too. I’m not sure endorsements have any true impact, but let’s take a peek anyway.

In my last Nevada caucus feature, I wrote of the near psychotic behaviors of unsuccessful senatorial candidate and Tea Party favorite, Sharron Angle. Sharron has hitched her dying star to the campaign of raving heterosexual, Santorum, whose (quoting Angle),  “continuous opposition to amnesty, Obamacare, the bail-outs and cap & trade are a perfect fit with our Main St. Tea Party Movement.” I agree. The raving heterosexual was a perfect fit into last place.

Herman Cain has been beating the drums for fellow horn dog, Newt Gingrich. That joke writes itself. More important than the Cain endorsement is its polar opposite, a disapprobation of Gingrich in the form of an open letter released by the Romney camp from party patriarch, 88-year-old, Bob Dole. Ironic, considering Dole once served as a Viagra TV pitchman. You’d think he wouldn’t want to risk offending a potential customer (or two). Once a presidential candidate himself, Dole is concerned that Newt will offend republican voters. He thinks a Gingrich nomination would hurt the Republican Party and negatively impact county, state and federal campaigns.

What with the Dole and Adelson developments, many pundits are already declaring the Gingrich candidacy DOA after just five states.

Aaron F. Libby endorsed Ron Paul the other day. Never heard of Libby? He’s one of 11 Maine representatives who share his enthusiasm for the candidate with no chance of winning. Maine’s caucus is ongoing until February 11th.

Dr. Ron may be the dumbest smart man I’ve ever seen. I watched a Saturday Minnesota  speech where Paul proposed to do away with HUD and the Department’s of Commerce, Energy, Interior and Education. Paul supporters, please lay your bibles aside for a moment and abandon your porn sites and long necks long enough to visit each of these government websites and actually learn something about what these departments do. Then tell me what you propose as replacements for these agencies that Paul would deep-six.

Next up, the Minnesota and Colorado caucuses, Tuesday the 7th. There’s also a non-binding primary in Missouri. Romney would appear to have the nomination on layaway, maybe paid down by Super Tuesday. I think sometime in the near future, raving heterosexual, Santorum abandons ship. Paul will probably stick it out to the bitter (and it will be bitter) end as will Gingrich, even if he has to sell pencils on the street corner.

Let’s face it, they’re all chasing the man who most emulates the Nevada state fish – the cutthroat trout.  Romney seems to be swimming away with the prize. Opponents better start fishing for some dirt.

Image: Veracity Stew

 

 

 

 

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