Desperate Conservatives Beg Sarah Palin To Run

Nov 29 2011 Published by under Uncategorized


Ah, don’t say I didn’t warn you about this possibility years ago.

Watching the last “conservative” Great Hope going down in flames as Herman Cain reassesses his campaign approach (code: okay, maybe I did do something inappropriate), Conservatives for Palin see an opening for the Mama Grizzly. Yes, only she can save America from the evil socialist, even though she was the most socialist governor in America during her brief tenure as Governor of Alaska.

Still. God still loves her best — a point that Palin, in an act of supreme humility, demonstrated while Mayor of Wasilla. Yes, Palin had “God Loves You Sarah Palin” put on her official mayoral computer but that pales in comparison to the sweet letter she signed as “Your Heavenly Father” to her friends and family. No one knows God like Sarah. Move over, Michele, Rick and Herb!

Palin TV:

Palin: We will not solve our economic problems in this country until we confront the crony capitalism of our permanent political class. This is socialism for the very rich and the very poor but it is a brutal form of capitalism for the rest of us. It’s the collusion of big government, big business. It’s at the heart of President Obama’s economic vision. We need sudden and relentless reform. That will return power to we the people. We need people with a proven record of reform. I served in public office in a state that had a corruption problem. I fought that corrupt system. I took on a corrupt and compromised political class. The challenge is not simply to replace Obama in 2012. The real challenge is who and what we will replace him with.

It’s not time yet to debunk all of this nonsense and anyway, I’ve done it plenty of times before. Palin made Perry’s cronyism look tame in comparison and her administration was knee deep in corruption and abuse of power but today we focus on the HOPE that Sarah Palin will answer God’s fifth call to a Republican candidate and Run, Sarah, Run.

Apparently God is as fickle as Mitt Romney.

I have always told you that if Palin were going to run, she would wisely wait out the vetting season of debate as she can not compete in that arena (see her hand for her three ideas for America). She would wait to be begged as all of the other “conservative” candidates fell by the wayside so that she could step in at the last moment as the Hail Mary (that worked so well in 2008!) pass for her faithful.

Now, I wouldn’t even take this seriously if Fox News hadn’t also mentioned their desire for her to run last week, because where Fox goes, so goes the base.

Would Palin step in as a Tea Party candidate, a “Constitution party” (secessionist/militia/ “Christian”) candidate or does God’s chosen one think she can run on the Republican ticket? She has until next summer to decide if she chooses to run as an Independent or third party candidate. While I previously thought a Palin run would be a disaster for this country, not to mention an international humiliation, all of the Palin alternatives the Republicans have tried on haven’t worked and some of them have even managed to make Palin appear remotely sane and stable in comparison.

So, I’ve changed my mind and I am going to join the Conservatives for Palin and urge Queen Esther to man up and give the people what they want: Run, Sarah, Run! What exactly is stopping her? Does she lack the courage, the fortitude, or the desire to fundamentally change this country? If she really thinks that Obama is the anti-Christ and only she can save us, she would ignore the polls and just run, Sarah, run.

Maybe Sarah Palin is telling God to man up and find his cojones.

Sarah Palin tells us that the real challenge is to find someone who can replace Obama and his socialist agenda. I figure she means someone who “sees this country” as she does. With so much at stake, indeed the very old testament Christian Dominionist foundation of this great country at stake, how can Sarah abandon us all when we need her the most? Does she – gasp! – lack the cojones to face President Obama and challenge him based on her version of her record?

If it’s big government Christian conservatism you’re after, don’t be a sexist! There’s no substitute for the Original Palin.

I for one can’t wait to hear Palin give speeches about the Dominionist Christian founding of this country, witch doctors doing good deeds right here in America, our bordering neighbors in Iraq, Paul Revere’s wild ride of ringing bells and firing guns, the sexism in not photo-shopping out her peach fuzz mustache but no problem posing in runner shorts on the flag, how giving oil company money to citizens is not socialism, Palin prayer warriors who pray for the death of the President, how many times Palin has been blood-libeled by the evil media, whom we should be aiming our guns at this week, counting the minutes while Sarah searches her brain for her favorite founding father, our allies in North Korea and the Holy War in the Middle East.

Save us, Sister Sarah!

h/t to Jesse at Immoral Minority and Twitter friend @wavingcrosser

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