Glenn Beck Says Rick Santorum is the Next George Washington

Nov 15 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

No, it's not April Fools Day

Glenn Beck thinks Rick Santorum is the next George Washington? Really, he does. And the desperate Santorum, just fifty days out from the Iowa caucuses and well on his way to becoming a historical footnote, is anxious to trumpet his promotion to such rarefied heights on his campaign blog. Frighteningly, as it is a poor reflection upon our educational system, some 12 thousand people appear to like this. It is to be hoped none of them breed. Given conservative attitudes toward birth control, that’s probably too much to hope for.

In an email yesterday to supporters, and in the hopes of roping in fifty bucks for his campaign, Santorum said:

I wanted to make sure you had a chance to hear the interview I had with Glenn Beck earlier today. The interview covered a number of topics including the threat of Iran. But it was the end of the interview, particularly this clip, that I hope you’ll take one minute to listen to.

Glenn Beck, someone for whom I have great respect, and who shares a similar view of Iran, felt compelled to say:

“I don’t endorse candidates, I don’t get involved in politics, I don’t make donations to any politician. Rick Santorum is a friend of mine, but I choose my friends carefully and I would never tell you someone was a friend of mine if I didn’t have great respect for them. I will tell you this. People ask me all the time, ‘who is out there?’ I tell them the same thing, I don’t trust any of them, but if I had to trust the reins of power with one person that is currently in this field and, because I think the next president has got to be Abraham Lincoln, he has got to be somebody who knows exactly who he is, knows exactly where he stands and is willing to, in the end, turn those reins of power back over. The temptation and the pressure is going to be absolutely enormous. If there is one guy out there that is the next George Washington, the only guy that I could think of is Rick Santorum. I would ask that you would take a look at him.”

So Glenn says he doesn’t get involved in politics…No, I won’t even go there. That’s a whole ‘nother series of articles to cover all his “non-involvement” in politics. Suffice it to say that even saying what he said above is involving himself in politics. In the interest of brevity and to avoid writing a War and Peace-sized article, let’s stick to Santorum (which, you have to admit, is far better than letting Santorum stick to you…).

Watch it here (and keep a barf bag handy):

Now, as Glenn says, Rick Santorum may know exactly who he is, but the fly in the buttermilk is that we also know exactly who Rick Santorum is. And self awareness, to the extent any conservative actually possesses this trait, does not Abraham Lincoln make. And George Washington? A bona fide statesman? The modern-day Cincinnatus ? It makes you wonder if Glenn’s been borrowing Rush’s Oxycontin.  I mean look at Santorum’s record; look at some of the things he has said and done, and ask yourself: is this George Washington?

Gosh…okay, I gave Beck a pass but I can’t do that for Santorum. So where do I start? Maybe in February, when Santorum said we shouldn’t hate on the Crusades? I mean, after all, all the Crusaders did was cook and eat children, cut off heads and carry them around, and kill every single Muslim in Jerusalem and wade down streets literally ankle-deep in blood…I mean, good times, right? Who can hate on that? Or remember how back in July states-rights advocate Santorum responded to passage of New York’s marriage law by saying that the president needs to intervene in states’ business by asserting federal authority over the institution of marriage? Or how as recently as August, he claimed that gay marriage destroyed the U.S. economy (even though it’s illegal most places) and that only hetero-marriage can save it? Remember when a couple of months later he announced that fixing the American family will fix the economy? And remember that it’s only hetero-families who can fix the economy, not gay-families, because gay families represent rot and destruction. Santorum cannot have taken even one economics class in his life, if he thinks “good” and “evil” are factored into any economic model.

I am not saying that I don’t think on his worst day George Washington could have been as utterly bereft of common sense as Santorum is on a regular basis. I am saying that if we dug George up right now and propped his rotted skeletal remains up in a chair in the Oval Office that he would be a more effective president than Rick Santorum.

Do you smell what this surly old son of Odin is cooking? Good, because I don’t want that image in my head any longer than it has to be there. So let’s move onto something else that’s revolting. If you have the stomach for it (please don’t eat first), here is the full interview:

If you’ve made it through the full interview, I don’t really have anything else to add. I mean, it speaks for itself, doesn’t it? Really, all we can do with stuff like this is laugh, and maybe push birth control, and most certainly strengthen and defend our education system.

11 responses so far