GOP Gone Rogue: Newt Gingrich is the Latest Republican Messiah

Nov 12 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

A moment of silence for the Republican Party, please.

This moment is brought to you by Americans for a Real World, on the heels of the news that Newt Gingrich is being considered for their latest messiah. This would be akin to the Democrats rolling out John Edwards ten years from now as the Intellectual Family Values and Women’s Rights champion. It’s beyond absurd. Perhaps they think Americans have amnesia?

No, I’m afraid this goes back to the basic flaw in far right ideology; the worship of the authoritarian combined with Fox News et al, that has led to massive epistemic closure in the base and the upper echelons. They are enabled in their faulty belief by serious Republican strategists like Steve Schmidt who was championing Newt on MSNBC the other night as well as a South Carolina GOP strategist who tried to sell Newt and Romney as the “two adults” in the room. Desperate is as desperate does.

The national candidates now seem to be suffering from Palinese; the notion that they can announce their version of reality and it will become fact.

To wit, some goodies from Newt:

Maggie Haberman: “Newt Gingrich addressed his multiple nuptials and admitted affairs more head-on than he has to date, telling the Christian Broadcast Network that he sought God’s ‘forgiveness’ for the things he did wrong and that he now has a ‘great’ marriage.”

Source: Maggie Haberman. “Newt Gingrich: ‘I was doing things that were wrong.'” 3/08/2011.

Because Republicanism has become a religious cult, the leaders can get away with murder if they claim God has forgiven them. Imagine Anthony Weiner trying that as he ran for President in 2016, “How dare you ask questions about my personal life and upset my wife! I made mistakes but I have a great marriage. God has forgiven me. Now shove off, I’m on my way to Tiffany.”

Newt when asked how he could be unfaithful and give a speech on family values: “It doesn’t matter what I do,” he answered. “People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.”

Source: John H. Richardson. “Newt Gingrich: The Indispensable Republican.” 8/10/2010.

No one else can say what Newt says? Really? I hear what Newt says at every street corner in New York. Granted, the person is a street preacher suffering from schizophrenia, but still. It’s not as if Newt says such fresh, brilliant, new things. The con he’s running is pretty old school, “Do as I say not as I do.” Meh.

AP: “In 1994, Gingrich responded to reports he’d had extramarital affairs while running a family-values campaign in 1978 by saying, “In the 1970s, things happened.”

Source: AP. “Wife’s lawyer to question woman in Gingrich divorce case.” Marysville Journal-Tribune. Marysville, Ohio. 8/13/1999. pg. 2.

No, seriously, that’s all he’s got? Things happened in the 70’s? Make note of this, John Edwards! There’s hope for you yet! Heck, I’m gonna go out on a limb and nominate Bill Clinton as the standard bearer of fidelity, just ‘cuz, you know, stuff happens but it doesn’t mean anything. It was the 90’s!

Let us not forget that Newt’s campaign was just months ago derailed and abandoned by staffers after the infamous Greek cruise to save a third marriage and the Tiffany & Co’s $500,000 revolving credit line (read: debt) that Newt referred to as “normal way of doing business” Walk of Shame. Yes, that’s SO relatable, Newt! Never mind the massive unemployment and foreclosures. We are all Tiffany & Co now.

After being spotted at Tiffany twice after the disclosure caused a ruckus, Newt offered this pearl,

“Doesn’t the whole thing strike you as stupid? These are stores. These are stores that have a wide range of things you can buy. She has girlfriends with birthdays. All the candidates who are running for president are reasonably well off.”

Yes, everyone browses at Tiffany for the occasional gift like a $250.00 key ring. Oh, balanced budget, let me count the ways:

“Well, go talk to Tiffany’s. All I’m telling you is we are very frugal. We, in fact, live within our budget. We owe nothing,” Gingrich told CBS’ “Face The Nation” at the time. “I’m a guy running for president who pays … his bills in after-tax income at no cost to the taxpayer and who currently owes nothing except one rental property in Wisconsin. I am debt-free.”

One month later, it was found the Gingriches had a second line of credit at the store, which at one point listed charges between $500,000 and $1,000,000.

As long as we’re on the don’t hate Newt because he’s rich meme, we should be sure not to mention the new book out on Newt in which it’s alleged that he spent millions of dollars buying off his current wife so that she would support his run for President.

Newt Gingrich spent $1 million on jewellery to ‘buy off’ his reluctant wife and stop her objecting to his running for president, a new book claims.

The e-book on the 2012 election says the Republican candidate took his wife Callista on an ill-timed luxury cruise to Greece and showered her with gifts from Tiffany’s in efforts to get her onside.

Bah. Shame on you for reading unvetted trash spurred on by the Democrat Machine. All you need to know about Newt is his history. Multiple marriages, affairs and divorces – some during the current wife’s illness – but do as he says not as he does, and God forgives him, so again, shame on you for looking at his record. What do you people not get about do as he SAYS not as he does?!

If you are willing to ignore Newt’s history, you also probably believed in Death Panels and you’re still hostile about the check George Soros sends to all liberal outlets. Given these criteria, it’s unclear why Herman Cain should lose out. For that matter, why can’t Sarah Palin give it a go from a third party?

Rest in peace, Republican Party. Gone are the days of the party of personal responsibility. The GOP Clown Show is not just a one-off anymore. They’ve gone rogue.

Image: Wonkette

18 responses so far