Tea Party darling Michele Bachmann, flailing desperately these days to top the 3 percent approval rating in the polls, says she is the “complete package” which, if she is the messiah as she claims, would of necessity have to be true. It is difficult to conceive of a messiah who is missing a few pieces, after all.
Of course, we only have Bachmann’s assertion that her god told her to run. He apparently told a bunch of other Republicans to run as well (something we have only on their assertions), including her arch-rival Rick Perry, the guy who stole her thunder after Iowa. And if he told a bunch of other Republicans to run that implies that her god is hedging his bets, which in turn implies that she’s not the complete package she thinks she is.
But let’s see what she has to say first. She went to a potentially receptive audience, the Family Research Council, to begin her Ministry to the Philistines®, talking to some 50 Republicans about her package:
Taking a dig at waffle-meister Mitt Romney, she said, “Unfortunately for too many Republicans, they also aspire to be frugal socialists.” She had something for Obama too, artfully suggesting that other Republicans are too similar to Obama to be viable candidates:
“The reason President Obama and some Republicans can get behind socialized medicine is because they share the same core political philosophy about the purpose of government.”
Ouch. That had to hurt. She must be talking about that government of the people, by the people, and for the people bit.
So for Bachmann it is not a case of all these Republicans against Obama but a case of all these socialists, some of whom happen to be socialist-lite (the Republicans) and Obama, who is “out-of-control socialist”:
“We cannot preserve liberty for ourselves and our posterity if the choice in next November is between a frugal socialist and an out-of-control socialist.”
She took a shot at Perry too, dredging up her old complaints about healthcare reform and claiming that Perry has no idea how to roll it back.
Bachmann says she is the most conservative candidate in the GOP’s dimmed ranks and she may or may not be right about that (enter Rick Perry again). But the use of logic aside, there are many other reasons to doubt her claim about being the complete package.
She says she can handle the healthcare reform issue but look at her take on Herman Cain’s admittedly questionable 999 economic plan. Rather than attacking Cain’s plan on its merits she decided to question it on religious grounds, claiming that if you turn 999 upside down (fundamentalists are good at turning things upside down) you get 666, meaning Herman Cain’s economic plan is “of the devil”, putting it on a par with gay-ness in the Bachmann lexicon.
If she’s trying to impress us with her knowledge of economics, this is the wrong way to go about it. Because religion isn’t a part of economics. All Bachmann succeeds in doing is separating herself from reality, making clear to American voters that there has been a Diaspora of common sense in Republican political theology and that she is one of its prime victims.
When Michele Bachmann tells voters she is “the candidate you can trust in office” we can say that is true – if you have very low expectations and if you want the United States of America to cease being a going concern, rather like the Spanish empire did after the 15th century. If that’s what people want, she is absolutely the candidate because the Spanish empire put religion ahead of common sense too, and look where it got them.
We need some common sense, some pragmatism, and less ideology, and Michele Bachmann is the poster child for fundamentalist ideology run amok. If Herman Cain’s economic plan is flawed, I want to know why, and where, and how it could be improved. Telling me it’s “of the devil” because you can turn 999 into 666 doesn’t address the issues afflicting America – it addresses only Bachmann’s precarious mental state.
Bachmann told her crowd,
“This election season has been full of surprises. I can assure you there are no policy surprises with me. I am far from a perfect person, as all of you know too well, but I know who I am and I will never deviate from the principles that I have fought for all of my life.”
At least she was honest about the perfection issue, though I’m not sure that jives with being chosen as messiah. Maybe her god has lower standards since Jesus. But again, that’s a theological issue and theology isn’t going to fix America’s problems. This insistence on theology over reality is something Bachmann has in common with Perry – they are far more alike than she cares to admit.
So let’s take Bachmann at her word that she won’t deviate from her principles, which from what we can tell are entirely religious, which in turn means that she will always privilege her religious principals over all others and drop America into the toilet like a tablet of Ty-D-Bol.
We can only conclude that Michele Bachmann’s common sense has gone on Diaspora, and we should encourage her to go with it.