Maybe God Didn’t Choose Michele Bachmann After All

Sep 09 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Empty chairs. An empty room, save for a the front row of the House interview room. One lonely photographer with all of the room in the world to get a good shot and no live feed. This is the reception for Michele Bachmann’s rogue rebuttal to the President’s American Job Act speech.

See that itty bitty person at the end of the picture? That’s Michele Bachmann, GOP candidate for President.

Hey, why so glum? What better audience for a talking points puppet than an empty room? The chances of someone daring to ask a question go down exponentially with the number of overall attendees and that’s always a good thing for a Tea Party Know Nothing. Oh, all right, there were a few people there. Michele Bachmann was there. And her people. And some press. But the room was looking pretty bleak. Maybe fifteen people, and some of them were working the show.

Defying House Speaker John Boehner’s decision that there would be no official Republican response, self-appointed Tea Party Caucus Leader Michele Bachmann addressed an empty House room. Am I the only person who’s starting to wonder if the Tea Party was invented just so that people like Bachmann and Palin could be the leader of something — A sort of “party” for Know-Nothing Grifters who make money off of pretending to be attacked by the Evil Liberals funded by the Koch Brothers who love them some puppet?

Michele told the empty room, “I’ve been a part of the real world for all throughout my life.”

As opposed to the Other World, for some of her life. Yeah, this is a campaign just roaring back, babies. Watch out, Rick Perry! I was wrong, the GOP loves women and also, having your campaign manager quit on you is just another way of saying “Send cash, the lamestream media is pickin’ on me!”

Watch the Death Rattle of a campaign courtesy of Mediaite:

Of course, Michele tore into the President, whose speech she missed because of “gate delays” (read: obstinate rudeness and a desire to get ready for her own show – those eyelashes don’t put themselves on, people.). She says she listened to the speech on the “radio” in the car and in her office. Gosh, that’s the kind of attention to detail ya’ want in a President, no?

You notice that none of the Republicans gave an official response. They can read the tea leaves and post-manufactured debt ceiling crisis, things no lookey so good for them, so the Republicans are trying to polish the turd of the Party of No by showing a little less visceral hate immediately after the President speaks. This could be the sign that their emotional journey is about to take an abrupt post id turn as they careen into their terrible twos, but I doubt it. Still, Obama and Boehner exchanged quite the handshake last night. Looked to me like they knew something we don’t. And if we don’t know it, you can bet your life savings that Michele Bachmann doesn’t know it.

Now, I don’t want to say I told ya’ so, but days ago when, along with her plunging polls, Bachmann’s campaign manager quit, followed by her deputy campaign manager, post the outing of her faith manager’s Uganda terrorism arrest — see? The story of Michele Bachmann just sings winner!– and I suggested that she was going nowhere, I got lots of angry messages hollerin’in all caps with a lot of super angry swear words. Apparently I had no reason at all for my portent of doom, because so many Presidential campaigns are won by folks whose campaign managers quit a few months in…

Anyway, I’m starting to suspect that God might not have chosen Michele for President like He told her He did. And if that’s true, then what magical, cowboy hat-wearin’ King might next appear before us as the Chosen One? They wouldn’t really, so soon…..

Oh, but they would.

Image: The Obama Diary

26 responses so far