President Rick Perry — President of Texas, That Is

Aug 20 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Every time that I’ve ever heard presidential hopeful and current governor Rick Perry talk about possible secession for Texas, I think one thing: How can I help?

Are they asking for contributions? Do they need volunteers to build the 25-foot fence on the Oklahoma, Louisiana or New Mexico border? Can they take Arizona with them — please?

Seriously, secession and Perry’s presidential aspirations are a match made in heaven — a Christian-only heaven, of course. Perry could be the first president of the independent nation of Texas.

Texas would become a dreamland for small government fans and those who want low tax rates. Life would be grand without pushy Uncle Sam around. Of course, they’d have to make do without the money that Washington, D.C., provides.

That would include the billions of dollars of federal aid  that Texas has received for the devastating Hurricane Ike. But that money – and any money needed for the current devastating drought (with dozens of counties being federal disaster areas) or future hurricanes (a possibility with an active hurricane season likely) – could easily be replaced with lower taxes for job-creating oil companies and millionaires.

Remember, tax cuts increase revenue! Maybe that could be the motto on the new country’s money.

There would also be no red, white and blue money coming in to try to fix one of the worst school systems in the country. Verbal SAT scores are the 49th worst in the country, and math SAT scores are the 46th worst. On the bright side, they would both immediately rise to number 1 in their new country.

Federal assistance for the unemployed would not arrive for an area where the unemployment rate is higher than the national average. The unemployment number would increase as the small government takes over in a region that has had the largest growth of government jobs in the U.S. I guess large government is only a problem if it’s someone else’s government.

Regardless, the unemployment problems could all be taken care of by good, old-fashioned Republican personal responsibility. People are unemployed because they’re lazy.

Those small sacrifices needed in order to break from the tyranny of the U.S. government would be well worth it in order to gain more important things.

For instance, only creationism could be taught in public schools since Perry thinks that evolution is a “theory that’s out there.” Of course, that’s only if Texas decides to have public schools, which is unlikely since that would require government money. At least Texans could then legitimately write their own history books instead of re-writing ours.

The best thing, though, might be passing a law that there be no traffic rules for administration officials since Rick Perry doesn’t seem think that he should be bothered with such things.

24 responses so far