Texas Apologizes For Unleashing Rick Perry On Us All

Aug 16 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Via YouTube, Texas Democrats have issued a preemptive apology to the rest of the United States for unleashing another Texas Republican on the good people of our nation so soon after George W. Bush.

Here is the video:

I hadn’t thought about it until you brought it up, but you really should apologize. How dare you stick us with the dumber crazier version of George W. Bush? Are you not aware of what W’s two terms of mangled English, bogus wars, faux brush cutting, waterboarding, New Orleans destroying, economy collapsing to depths that made Herbert Hoover say DAMN from his hovel in hell did to us? What in the name of Ann Richards and Molly Ivins are you thinking?

Rick Perry, this week’s savior of the GOP has a 41% approval rating in Texas. Even his home state doesn’t like him. I guess miracles don’t go as far as they used to. At least Bush was popular in Texas and he seemed like a nice enough guy back in 2000, but we can already tell that this Rick Perry is kind of douche. He is not somebody we really want to spend our time with, and he is definitely not the kind of person we want representing us overseas. We learned from W that a back rub between world leaders is NOT an okay thing.

We don’t need any more cowboys and go it alone nonsense. We’ve had our fill, thanks. We don’t need to spend another four years of nights hoping that the president stays healthy because his vice president is a Bond villain. (If you thought Cheney was bad news, wrap your mind around Vice President Bachmann).

Thanks for the head’s up, Texas Democrats. Message received. We like having an adult in the White House. As a nation we have found that raccoons and religious zealots who hold elective office have one thing in common, they both should stay outside. We have no intention of opening the door to the People’s House and letting the dumber half of Texas Dumb and Dumber move in.

Apology accepted, Texas. Now please get your crazy back on his leash and take him back home with you where he belongs.

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