TicketSinker™: Sarah Palin May Have Just Handed Her Crown to Bachmann

Aug 03 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Sarah Palin on Hannity

Patriots, have I got great news for you! Sarah Palin threw her support behind Michele Bachmann on Hannity last night and this could mean that she will decide not to push the final red button in her jihad against America by running for President! It’s true. Sarah Palin may have just handed her second runner-up crown to Michele Bachmann. Oh, the glitter, the glory and the infamy!

No promises, of course, but picture this: A worn looking Palin, sporting an ode to Jen Aniston-circa-1990’s hair do, pops up on Hannity’s pitch-black rabbit hole where facts go to hide last night. She talked terrorists, Mitt Romney being a loser, and pointed fingers at her own party for failing to murder the global economy when they had the chance by refusing to sign any debt ceiling deal before they got “Cut, cap and balance” passed. In other words, her normal Fox appearance.

It’s really not worth watching, because she does her usual bits of self-pity run wild when she’s not mangling the reality that we’ve never before had the deficit tied to the debt ceiling. While that may have outrageous months ago, Americans are weary of her cries of “Wolf!” and no longer even turn their head when she shrieks. Let’s face it, she’s an irrelevant has-been whose only purpose has been fulfilled. I’ll let you guess what that purpose was, but it’s one that Michele Bachmann can fulfill for the same corporate “Christian” Bircher backers with a heck of lot less baggage.

So while her opinions on being called an economic domestic terrorist are as childish as ever, and her utter shameless hypocrisy on the issues of debt and a balanced budget would make Charles Manson weep in shame, the only thing worth taking away from this was that she might be getting ready to endorse Michele Bachmann for President. To this end, here is the relevant (and prayed for) beginning of good-bye:

In Sarah’s teeny, tiny world view, only Bachmann stuck to her principles as a “conservative” (read: Oral Roberts misinformed and deliberately cultivated theocratic destroyer of all things our founders cared about). When asked who among the GOP candidates for President had been a leader on the debt crisis issue, she answered, “Michele Bachmann. She spoke out and she cast her vote according to her principles.”

It’s so unlike Sarah Palin to compliment a woman who would be her competition were she to announce that I’m pretty darn sure she has quit yet another gig. But at least this is one she never really started, save for a bus with her picture rolling up the east coast and raising more cash for her “I can do anything until the courts tell me I can’t” PAC. Sarah Palin, after all, laughed at another woman being called a “fat cancer” knowing that the woman had breast cancer at the time. She was called a “rabid little thing” by a girl who bested her in grades, basketball and love in high school. And who can forget her classic lecture to Hillary Clinton to “quit whining” about the media. This is not a person who conducts herself gracefully while in competition. Or any other time, for that matter.

I just can’t see her giving Bachmann any props if she thought Bachmann were going to be her competition. Maybe the party elites finally conveyed to Sarah Palin (the politician formerly known as TicketSinker™) that they will not allow her to sink their national party by running for President.

As Palin’s fleeting fame dims, and all we’re left with is the back of her rather high hair as she skips off into never-never land, it’s important to end on a high note by acknowledging that she finally managed to get a sentence out that contained both a noun and a corresponding verb, without all of the complicated twisty turns and diversions she normally takes. This is sort of like commending a drug abuser for only taking five hits that day instead of ten. You know they’re not sober and they’re not going to get sober and most of all, that it’s only going to get worse. But for that one, brief moment, you see a glimmer of the person they could have been.

Both Palin and Bachmann are ALEC puppets and the folks behind them wield enormous power over our country. But even they can see the neon sign announcing The End of Sarah Palin’s career. And why should they care, when they have a more articulate version of Palin who has not quit her job, is just as ignorant but sounds better, and shares the same goals to take over the United States Constitution with their Corporate Bibletution.

We’ll remember you, Sarah Palin. You’ll be remembered for sowing division, racism and violence in this country at a time when she most desperately needed all hands on deck. You’ll go down as the precursor to Bachmann’s McCarthy, and be remembered for paving the way for the takeover of America by a small band of elites with nefarious goals. You’ll mostly be remembered as a traitor to the very tenets of democracy and civilized society. As Americans, we’ll take great pride in being a small part of your last close up. Don’t say we didn’t care. We did. We even gave you a compliment on your way out the door. And you’ll always have the ego-comfort of Lou Sarah to “like” you.

Really, Sarah, it’s over. It’s not you, it’s us. See, we just don’t like you.

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