Oh no you don’t, Bachmann

Jul 29 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

There is a level of hypocrisy so blatant, so ridiculous, and so plainly morally vacuous that it must be met head on. Michele Bachmann, a known fool with a medieval sense of religion, ethics, and science has demanded that the press leave her husband out of the election process, in effect saying that he is off limits.

It almost makes you stutter under the crushing load of cognitive dissonance that you are forced to attempt to endure to make any sense of her logic. You see, according to Bachmann, as she is running for President, and not her business, husband, or horde of children, only she should be up for criticism. Not that there is any lack of reason to criticize her, there is in fact a paper trail that will take years and reams to deal with, but her claim in regards to her husband is beyond any sort of fairness.

Why is that? Because Bachmann has been critical, at every available turn, of Michelle Obama. Just by way of a few examples, she called her “anti-American” and criticized her plan to encourage breast feeding as example of an encroaching “nanny-state.” Of course, this simply reaffirms the fact that we all know that Bachmann is a backwards dolt on a mission to top herself each year with increasingly pathetic media soundbites, but it makes one grind a molar when it is coupled with her claim that her husband should be left alone.

So I demand demand the opposite. I demand that we all double down on Mr. Bachmann. That we dig into every scheme at his medical practice. That we find every federal dollar that he has taken. That we overturn each piece of his staff, test them for competence, and listen to his every speech on gay Americans. Vindictive? Hardly. This man is Michele’s closest associate. If we are supposed to tremble at Obama’s old acquaintances, we can surely paint a full picture of Bachmann’s most trusted advisor without the need to blush.

To do anything else would have been lazy, and slovenly, but we might have let it slide. Why? Because he is an obvious buffoon, and it almost doesn’t seem fair. But now with Michele’s ridiculous claim, let us shake off our coat of sloth and peer into everything. By electing Bachmann we would be elevating this man to the status of an unofficial ambassador of the State, and make him one of the most critically visible members of our government and country. He deserves a fair shake, let us give it to him.

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