Happy Quitaversary: PoliticusUSA’s Tribute To Sarah Palin’s History Fails

Jul 03 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Duh, Quitting!

It was just two short years ago today that Sarah Palin decided that she hated the damn job of being governor of Alaska so much that she had to quit. To mark the occasion, here are some of Palin’s biggest history fails.

The problem began when Sarah Palin was running for governor in 2006:

Question: Are you offended by the phrase “Under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance? Why or why not?

Palin: Not on your life. If it was good enough for the founding fathers, its good enough for me and I’ll fight in defense of our Pledge of Allegiance.

(If you need me to explain to you why this is wrong, you need to turn off the computer, grab the toaster from the kitchen, go to the bathroom, turn on the tub, plug in the toaster, and enjoy a nice bath).

Palin went on to be elected governor and less than two years later, the role model for people who think book learnin’ is for suckers hit the big stage.

The national fun started in October 2008, when Sarah informed the American people that the vice president runs the Senate:

Sarah actually claimed that the vice president is, “in charge of the United States Senate,” and could “get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes.”

During a radio interview with Chris Plante, Palin claimed that the First Amendment protected her from media attacks:

“If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations, then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.”

And who can forget this exchange with Charlie Gibson in 2008:


(Off-camera) Have you ever met a foreign head of state?


I have not. And I think if you go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I just gave you. But Charlie, again, we got to remember what the desire is in this nation, at this time. It is for no more politics as usual. And somebody’s big, fat resume maybe that shows decades and decades in that Washington establishment, where, yeah, they’ve had opportunity to meet heads of state.

The truth is that every VP for the last 32 years has met with a foreign leader before being elected. The one who didn’t? Spiro Agnew.

After Sarah lost the 2008 election, Undefeated my foot, she quickly bolted from her sworn duty in Alaska, and headed for the bright lights, big cities, easy money, and plastic surgeons of the lower 48.

For 2009 and 2010 Palin spent much of her time telling lies about policy. Death panels, anyone, but 2011 has been the year that Sarah’s history problem has come back with a vengeance.

Did you know that Sputnik bankrupted the Soviet Union?

Palin was trying to blast Obama for his reference to the nation needing a Sputnik moment in his State of The Union, but things went horribly, horribly wrong. Palin said, “That was another one of those WTF moments that when he has so often repeated the Sputnik moment that he would aspire Americans to celebrate. He needs to remember that what happened back then with the former communist USSR and their victory in that race to space. Yeah, they won, but they also incurred so much debt at the time, that it resulted in the inevitable collapse of the Soviet Union, so I listen to that Sputnik talk over and over again, and I think we don’t need one of those.” (In some bizarre word association, Palin referenced a coffee shop in Washington state and claimed we need a Spudnut moment.)

Of course, the topper to top all others was Palin’s Paul Revere moment:

This tribute to Sarah Palin is meant to prove a point. There were countless other gaffes about history that had to be left on the cutting room floor. The next time Palin shows that she knows nothing about American history, and people say it was just an isolated gaffe, send them on over to this post.

On July 3, 2009, Sarah Palin became the most famous quitter in American history. Her place in American political lore is secured not by any positive accomplishment, but by her own bizarre behavior and statements. She is a sideshow, and she isn’t important enough anymore to be a circus. She is more like cotton candy. It looks pretty from a distance, and it seems sweet, but once you take a bite it is messy, sticky, and certain to make you sick.

Happy Quitaversary, Sarah. You may have left Alaska, but your record of willful ignorance and failure lives on.

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