5 Reasons Why You Should Be Glad You Didn’t Watch The GOP Debate

Jun 13 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

In case you didn’t waste 2 hours of your life watching D-List Republican presidential candidates try not to answer questions, here is what you missed.

5). Herman Cain Likes It In The Caboose
– One of this big problems with this debate was that nobody answered anything. For example when Herman Cain was asked about his economic plan, he said, “The thing we need to do is get this economy boosted. This economy is stalled. It’s like a train on the tracks with no engine, and the administration has simply been putting all its money in the caboose.” Cain’s answer was to fuel the private sector with corporate tax cuts. Cain’s whole plan was to cut taxes, which was about the extent of it for all the GOP candidates.

4). What The Hell Was Mitt Romney Looking At? – This was a fun game to play. Romney knows that he should be addressing the people at home, which means looking into the camera. Instead, Romney seemed hell bent and determined to connect with the one New Hampshire voter on the big screen located to his side.It wasn’t just the big screen, Mitt loved to look in every direction but at the camera. Romney has been knocked for being wooden, and looking off into the distance may have helped him connect with the room, but it was creepy for the folks at home. Congratulations GOP, this is your frontrunner.

3). The Audience
– They were as expected, old, white, glassy eyed, and for most of the time looking like they were wondering where Glenn Beck was. I suspect that several of them were tricked into attending by the promise of a free buffet. In a few different crowd shots, you can almost see the realization creeping over some faces that, yes, this is all that they have to choose from.

2). Boy, I Bombed Big. Better Mention Sarah Palin- Tim Pawlenty had a bad night. In a room with no charisma, save Michele Bachmann, he was invisible. Pawlenty may be competent, but he makes Romney look like Mr. Excitement, which maybe his best qualification for being Romney’s running mate, should Mittens win the Nomination of the Damned. CNN knew Tim Pawlenty was dying out there so with the clock ticking down, they threw him a lifeline and asked who made the better VP choice in 2008?

Pawlenty showed his desperation by claiming that Palin is qualified to be president. As a Republican candidate, you know you are really screwed when your highlight is namedropping Sarah Palin. It was nice knowing you, Tim Pawlenty.

1). Michele Bachmann Announces Her Presidential Candidacy At The Debate – When was the last time that a presidential candidate announced that they were running for president during the presidential debate which they were currently speaking at on the very moment that they made their announcement?

Bachmann stole the show in the first 10 minutes and never looked back. Bachmann did it. She got the big headline coming out of the debate. Sure Bachmann struggled with facts and reality, but if she didn’t she wouldn’t be a Republican candidate for president. Bachmann won this debate by understanding television. She was the most interesting candidate, and she created a take away moment in an event that was even duller than expected.

Here are tonight’s debate winners and losers:


1). Michele Bachmann – She simply was the only person at the debate who brought energy and understood television.

2). Mitt Romney – He looked sane, and that might be enough to win him the GOP nomination.

3). Ron Paul – Mr. Dependable. You know what you are going to get out of Paul in these debates. He is benefitting already from the terrible 2012 field. Unlike 2008, Paul is getting airtime.


1). Tim Pawlenty – He was supposed to be the top challenger to Romney, but for a major candidate he exhibited absolutely no presence. It doesn’t help that he looks more like a Sec. of Agriculture than a man who could occupy the Oval Office.

2). Newt Gingrich – Newt tried to bring reality to a Republican debate. Yeah, it didn’t go well, but at least nobody brought up Tiffany’s, marriages, vacations, or why he looked like a balloon with that yellow tie on.

3). Herman Cain – Herman still hates the Muslims, but outside of the Godfather’s pizza connection and his skin color, he has nothing to offer the GOP. Cain’s answers were generic GOP fluff. This man is not a leader.

4). Rick Santorum – Ricky was pretty much invisible here. If it wasn’t for Gingrich, he would probably end up being the first candidate to quit.

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