Left Behind America – Your Number 1 Judgment Day Party Source
With Christians getting ready to get “beamed up” on May 21st, the date assigned by some to the return of Jesus (i.e. the Rapture), the rest of us have to decide what to make of the earth in their absence. If you’re a godless liberal like me, you are probably wondering what you can do when the big day comes. Obviously, there are a great many ideas floating around out there and with only two days to go, time is of the essence. Don’t say you weren’t warned! We talked about it here and I know it’s been in the news elsewhere. If you’re not being left behind, obviously you have your own preparations to make and it’s not for a pagan like me to discuss those. If you’re being left behind, why, that’s another story. Read on.
If you’re short of ideas but you’re on Facebook you can participate at a distance if there are no events in your geographic area. First there is Christianity’s Going Away Party, sure to be a banging event. Once that is over, folks will move onto the second stage of the celebration, the After Rapture Looting or Post Rapture Looting though I would like to suggest to folks that what they should be watching for are the post rapture real estate opportunities. Big screen TVs are nice. But got your eye on the neighbor’s house? Or on the megachurch down the street?
Or are you thinking bigger? With upwards of 25-50% of the population departing (depending upon who turns out to be a real Christian of course the number could be even higher), there are sure to be some real prizes out there, say Liberty University, or Oral Roberts University. Who knows, depending upon whether Catholics are really Christians or not (a point of debate among fundamentalists), why not look into Notre Dame University? You could have your own football team. As a Hoosier myself, I may have to consider being there at the door to take possession. Why not think big? One or the other might make a great new location for a new Great Library of Alexandria, or an American Parthenon.
If you’re not a fan of Facebook there are other ways to participate online. Got a webcam? The Live-Streaming Judgment Day Party, which will attract comedians, educators, activists and others for a good old time lasting 24 hours straight on May 21. According to the event’s press release,
Jesus is coming back on May 21 and the Bible guarantees it, Family Radio evangelist Harold Camping has infamously declared. Skeptics, activists, comedians and others don’t believe his apocalyptic warning for one second.
Rather than praying for redemption, they are gathering for a live streaming Judgment Day Party starting at 00:00:01 on May 21 and ending at midnight that day.
It sounds like anyone who is anyone will be there to meet Jesus when he arrives:
From the crowd gathered at Bunjo’s Comedy Lounge to a lecture by Al Stefanelli, journalist and atheist activist, there’s going to be a bit of something for everyone. Emmy nominee Thomas Quinn, author of “What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus?”, Dr. Andy Thomson, psychiatrist, Chris Rodda, Huffington Post blogger, and world-famous astrologer Dr. Louis Turi are just a handful of the diverse guests who will share the limelight on May 21. Guest appearances are being updated daily at TalkAndAct.com.
It’s a shame George Carlin is no longer with us to see this day, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, and though it doesn’t say so, it is rumored that Richard Dawkins might himself put in an appearance, as will author and activist Leah Burton.
And it’s all for a good cause:
[T]he Judgment Day Party is running a fundraiser to benefit the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF), a non-profit organization that is arguably the nation’s most aggressive champion of service members’ First Amendment Constitutional Rights.
Having interviewed MRFF’s Mikey Weinstein, I can tell you this is all for the good. Give generously.
We are informed that folks hosting their own Judgment Day Parties are welcome to them at TalkAndAct.com. If they have access to a webcam, they are invited to participate in the live steaming event. Submissions must be made by Wednesday, May 18, at 9 PM Pacific time for appearances in the live streaming party.
The live streaming party can be viewed at http://www.livestream.com/judgmentday
This is really great as a way to bring the world together on this all-important day, not only a way to recognize the arrival of a god on our planet but as a way in which to pay tribute to our fellow citizens, about to begin a greater journey, a journey, it is to be hoped, to a better life.
But we can’t forget how much better our own lives will be with one-third of the world’s fundamentalist equation removed. Without anyone to battle, the United States should fall out of the jihadist line of fire. It will be all up to Israel and the Islamic world then, to await the Messiah and the Mahdi respectively.
Remember, Saturday’s the day for the Rapture! You won’t be able to miss it with all those bodies beaming up all around you, particularly if you live in the Bible Belt. If you’re not going with them, at least lift a hand and give your friends and neighbors the send off they deserve. And when they’re gone, join the rest of us in celebrating, because the Rapture is about us too, us pagans, liberals, feminists, secularists, atheists, scientists and free-thinkers of all stripes.
Who said being left behind was a bad thing? Let’s make the most of it. Bid adieu to the forces of hate and repression in your neighborhood. Give theocracy the send-off it deserves! And heck, worse comes to worse and our friends and neighbors don’t get beamed up after all, at least you’ve had a good time at their expense. It’s what you call a win/win.
Image from allhatnocattle.net/