Obama: Republicans Are Just Not That Into You…Still

May 04 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

Ever since assuming office President Barack Obama has been berated, degraded, denigrated, underrated, and castigated. He’s been called a socialist, communist, Maoist, and even compared to Adolph Hitler for his government-mandated health care policy. Who couldn’t open up a history book and see chapter upon chapter regarding Hitler’s healthcare plan. Yet he remained calm, cool and collected.

And when he hasn’t been on the recipient end of that malice, the very nature of his birthplace has been put into question by hordes of deluded loons who aren’t even from this planet.

This pesky group of committed naysayers is known as the birthers, a predominately white group of tin-foil cap wearing conspiracy-theorists who make the Flat Earth Society look like an Algonquin Round Table. Still outraged over a white war hero losing to a black guy named Barack Hussein Obama, the Birthers are a spontaneous group of perpetual paranoids who vehemently reject the legitimacy of U.S. President Barack Obama’s citizenship and his eligibility to be President. Some of these conspiracy theories allege that Obama was born in Kenya, not Hawaii, and that his birth certificate is a forgery.

In their blind hatred for anything that sounds foreign and strange, the Birthers overlook one  glaring fact: Hillary Clinton, who for all intents and purposes, endured her husbands routine sexual escipades in order to become president. Moreover, a woman who was so desperate to answer the red phone at 3am thatshe actually ran an ad showing a picture of Obama in Somali grab. So if this birther nonsense were truly accurate, don’t you think Hillary would have jumped on it faster than Bill on an Asian Masseuse?  

Disconcerting enough, the birther nonsense is not just relegated to ordinary racists citizens. Sitting US Congress people and campaigning republicans have embraced the birther movement, and are now trying to take it all the way to the Whitehouse in 2012. Occasional human being and reality TV-star Donald Trump has made the Birther issue the centerpiece of his entire presidential aspirations. Despite President Obama posting his birth certificate on politifact  to quash the right-wing hysteria of the POTUS  being born in Kenya, Indonesia, or whatever exotic and non-white Christian sounding land they can conjure up, it was repackaged by the almighty king of repackaging.

Donald was relentless, Obama was facetious.

During an interview with George Stephanopoulos on ABC’s World News Tonight, President Obama laughed off Donald Trump and the birthers, and said that birtherism is a GOP problem

 “Most people feel pretty confident the President was born where he says he was, in Hawaii. He– he doesn’t have horns.”

But this most certainly didn’t stop Trump from pounding the non-issue. Despite overwhelming contrary, Donald trump continued to wreak havoc on reason with his birther claims.

You see–Obama could have be birthed out of a Big Mac, in the middle of a church service in Texas, while Lynrd Skynrd was playing God Bless America…yet the birthers and Donald Trump would still call him a Kenyan Muslim.

Consequently, President Obama relented and released his longform birth certificate , even though he knew that it wouldn’t satisfy the seemingly unsatisfiable. 

But the GOP had something much more insidious and unconscionable in store for Obama. 

Obama was to single-handedly coordinate a mission to kill Osama Bin Laden and the Republicans were to pull as many excuses out of their arse to invalidate it. Essentially, they were to destroy the most momentous moment for a president since perhaps the news that Hitler had committed suicide. Former President Bush, a man who failed to find bin laden during his entire 8 year presidency and even cited that Bin Laden was no longer a threat to the US, made the following remarks to reporters when we were about to invade the wrong country for illegitimate reasons:

We haven’t heard from him in a long time,” Bush told reporters at the White House. “I truly am not that concerned about him.”  

Republicans were told by President Bush to hate Bin Laden, for he was  an evil-doer. He hated liberty and couldn’t even understand the joy of Chanakah .  But it wasn’t President Bush who killed Osama, as he was too busy re-shifting troops from Afghanistan to Iraq in a bloody game of trying to locate the invisible WMD. Conversely, it was the radical Muslim Kenyan Socialist with the George Soros produced birth certificate that brought down the world’s most wanted terrorist.

While the majority of the Republican presidential candidates didn’t have the decency to even mention the president’s name (perhaps because a Fox News affiliate reported that Obama Bin Laden killed), let alone actually praise the man for doing what two presidents before him couldn’t.

Via Media Matters:

Conservative media outlets and personalities have declared that the death of the world’s most famous terrorist was just another opportunity for the president to “strut like [a] peacock” and make it all about himself. CNN’s Loesch Suggested Obama “Politicize[d] The Hell Out Of” Bin Laden Announcement. In a May 2 Twitter post, CNN contributor Dana Loesch wrote: “Geebus. All he had to do was walk out and fist pump. Not politicize the hell out of it.”

Perhaps Obama should’ve gotten out a “mission accomplished” poster one year before the killing

Criticize Obama for just trying to win re-election.

According to Rush Limbaugh:

If [Obama] was a shoo-in for reelection, Osama bin Laden would still be alive today. There would have been no need to undertake the mission.

Silly Obama! Had you realized your polls de jour were sluggish, you obviously would not have had the gall to hunt down and kill the man responsible for nefariously killing nearly 3000 Americans in the worst terror attack on US soil.

 The criticism of Obama for not thanking Bush for violating international law and  instituting unusual methods of torture

Despite the fact that a Senior Interrogator in Iraq stated that torture does not work , guys who never served a day in uniform in their entire lives are much smarter. Republicans from Dick Cheney to Rep. Steve King to the torture architect himself, John Yoo, are insisting that bin Laden would be alive today if not for torture.

So even though the man had the gumption to bring down and kill the most loathsome man on the planet, Republicans just can’t accept the president’s outstanding victory. President Obama could come up with a cure for cancer and Republicans would undoubtedly claim that cancer is good for small business. Oh well, President Obama–the Republicans are just not that into you…still.

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