On his HBO program Real Time Bill Maher introduced America to the Republicans dream 2012 candidate, Karab Amaobo. Maher said, “Amabo would be our first homeschooled president, and the first in his family to ever not graduate high school. After flunking out of bartending school, he spent years disorganizing communities, and wrote two books. A memoir Dreams From My Food Court, and a policy book Thinking Is For Dummies.”
Here is the video:
The Real Time host began, “If the Republicans idea of governing is just being against everything the President is for, then they have to change their name to the I Know You Are But What Am I Party, and nominate for 2012 a man who is the exact opposite of Obama. A fat, white, small eared idiot, who angers quickly, overreacts to everything, and can bowl 300, and who carries only one form of ID, his original birth certificate, a man so the antithesis of our current president that even his name is Barack Obama spelled backwards, so say hello to GOP’s 2012 presidential candidate Karab Amabo.
He said Amaobo is based on real GOP behavior, “Now before I give you the details about Amabo please understand I ‘m not making this premise up. This week the Republican Party did a 180 on Libya so hard it drove the tears back into John Boehner’s face totally ruining the leather.”
Maher then described Karab Amabo, “But let me tell you about Karab Amabo. Amabo would be our first home schooled president, and the first in his family to ever not graduate high school. After flunking out of bartending school, he spent years disorganizing communities, and wrote two books. A memoir Dreams From My Food Court, and a policy book Thinking Is For Dummies. And what are his policies? Karab Amabo believes we should increase our dependency on foreign oil, and shrink the size of government until it only performs the most basic functions, killing Arabs, paying farmers to grow corn, and probing people at the airport.”
He continued, “Karab Amabo believes that abortion should be illegal especially in case of rape or incest, and he is so pro-life his slogan is life begins at erection. Karab Amabo pledges to repeal the job killing health care bill and to implement Amaobocare. A comprehensive program that gives uninsured people with preexisting conditions a chance to walk it off. Temperamentally Karab Amabo believes that America has had enough of no drama Obama and his measured Vulcan logic, and at the first sign of crisis Amabo will pray, scream, shit his pants, and fly Air Force One into a mountain.”
Maher moved on to First Lady Amaobo and family, “And what of the Amabo family? Karab Amabo’s wife is a sour ashen midget whose flaccid arms are so weak she could barely do her job operating the deep fryer at the Jack In The Box. The Amabos and their two sons go to church every four hours, and they have a meth lab where the White House garden used to be.”
Bill Maher concluded, “And perhaps the most important thing to understand about Karab Amabo is he’s not exotic or worldly or smart. He just loves America so much that when he says the Pledge of Allegiance, he not only puts his right hand over his heart, he salutes with his left hand, and makes the sign of the cross with his foot, which admit it folks, is pretty hard to do.”
Besides the fact that Bill Maher nailed the ideal Republican candidate perfectly, his Karab Amabo reflected just how much of a caricature the Republican Party has turned itself into with their Party of No stance. Republicans don’t have alternative vision to offer America. They don’t have an agenda that they can discuss in public, as evidence by Scott Walker in Wisconsin and Rick Snyder in Michigan. Republicans are reduced to sitting around and fantasizing about a 2012 candidate who would embody the ignorance is a virtue, Bible first, mentally that has hijacked the formerly Grand Old Party.
Republicans could care less that Karab Amabo would be slaughtered in an election match up with Barack Obama. All that concerns them is that their religious and ideological principles take the human form of an anti-Obama, and that’s what the wanna be 2012 GOP nominees will be battling over.
They won’t be fighting over issues and the future direction of America. That’s not what this primary will be about. 2012 Republican debates across this country will be consumed by a stage full of candidates who will spend hours trying to out anti-Obama each other.
Maher had it right. The Republicans don’t want to offer an alternative to Obama. They want to impose their beliefs and values system on us all. The voices of today’s GOP have taken their anti-intellectualism stance to a new place. The party has moved away from simple fear and distrust of intelligence to a war against it, and the people and institutions that encourage it (public schools, teachers, and funding for universities).
Lifting oneself up your own bootstraps is no longer an option, because in Republican America you and children are permanently crushed and regulated to your economic caste by the heel of the GOP’s corporate steel toed boot.
Bill Maher’s Karab Amabo was a humorous portrait of both the country that conservatives want to build, and of the kind of Americans Republicans want us to be.