Republican Representatives Wasting Money Playing With Birthers

Mar 14 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

It used to be fringey

Republican Representatives Wasting Money Playing With Birthers

I just don’t know what to say anymore. The Republicans have been fooling their constituents for so long, that they can now stick any broomstick up for office, plop a wig on it, push play and have it marionette “drill, baby drill,” “abortion is murder!” and “I hate the gay!” and it will get elected. If it wears tea bags, all the better.

So in the WTF category for this morning, I give you Republican Tennessee state Senator Mae Beavers, who proudly introduced SB 1091, a bill that would require presidential candidates to present a long-form birth certificate. This is the press play part, because Mae is just doin’ as she’s told from headquarters, apparently. There are ten to twelve other states are wasting your money and time doing this when…..

They should be focused on JOBS.

But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is not that Mae is a birther, oh no. The racism, the idiocy, the paranoia and the lack of integrity are par for the Republican course these days. The worst part is that Mae doesn’t even know what a long form birth certificate is.

Now, see, Mae didn’t get the Palin memo that she should never appear on any media outlet other than Fox News, lest they ask her a question and follow up with another question like those evil liberal elites who expect Republican Vice Presidential candidates to know things like what they read and where Iraq is, so Mae made the mistake of going on a radio show called “Reality Check.” I would have thought the name would have set her Republican tin foil on fire, but I guess Mae isn’t conniving enough to be as paranoid as the Nixonian Palin, so off she bravely set to this radio interview.

While claiming she herself isn’t a birther, Mae discussed the many “questions” surrounding Obama’s birth. I don’t know why someone doesn’t help Republicans understand that there are no questions for most of us, because, um, we’re not desperate to find a flaw in the man so we can win elections. But, they are spending their precious time “serving us” by running around claiming they’re not birthers, but they’re not above stoking and catering to the birthers y talking endlessly about the “questions” surrounding the President’s birth. Did I mention that I have questions, too? Questions about the IQ level of some of these Republicans. And I would like to propose legislation to deal with that requirement of our elected officials. Cough.

So, Mae wades obediently into birther water and the host, RC, asks her if she knew that Ronald Reagan didn’t have a birth certificate until he was 30. Mae gasps and chokes. This is not in her script. “No, I was not!” she says, clearly confused. How is this going to look on this year’s RNC Christmas ornament, I can hear her wondering. Then Mae realizes Reagan is out of office, so no worries for the RNC. Sigh.

Reality Check Radio Interview:

RC: What are the specific requirements in the bill?
MS. BEAVERS: That they have to have the long form birth certificate.
RC: What is the long form birth certificate?
MS. BEAVERS: Now, you’re asking me to get into a lot of things that I haven’t really looked into yet.

RC: Why put a term into the bill, if you don’t know what it means?

MS. BEAVERS: Well, we are following some of the bills that have been filed in lots of other states, and you know how it is, you file your bill and, you know, you prepare before you go to committee…. I’m not entirely sure what long form means.

Ah. Well, good thing Mae is spending our money pursuing this thing that she doesn’t know what it is. Do you suppose the Republican Party coordinates this in an attempt to discredit the President before 2012? Oh, get out, you mean liberal!

RC: Well, that’s one question I had. I’ve actually looked at several of these bills that have been filed, and there seems to be a lot of similarities. Were these actually submitted by someone else or a central organization as a template?

MS. BEAVERS: I have no idea. I have no idea. That’s what we do lots of times. You know, we look at what other states are filing, and if there’s something that we think would be good, you know, we’ll pick up on it.

Again with the “no idea” business, but they do it a lot of the time.

RC then gets into the muddy water with Mae, explaining to her that many people don’t have long form birth certificates, and that many people are not born in a hospital. This confuses Mae, who counters that they must have a birth certificate, which requires RC to read her bill to her, which clearly states that the long form would require the name of the hospital. Mae says, well, that’s what’s on a birth certificate. Poor RC then has to explain to this lawmaker that it used to be, but many states don’t do that and many never did.

RC: Are you aware of the part of the – there’s a section of the constitution called the full faith and credit clause? It’s in Article 4 Section 1.

MS. BEAVERS: Yes.

RC: Well, do you know what it says about state documents?

MS. BEAVERS: You tell me.

Yes, you tell her, RC. She’s just a Senator, why would you expect her to know the constitution, after all, none of the Republicans were familiar with it – they had to read it on the floor at the start of their new session, since they require all legislation read aloud to them while we pay them. No one said they needed to be able to read, you elitist!

Ms. Beavers joins her Republican brothers and sisters in playing the birther game, stoking the notion that we just don’t know and playing both sides of the fence by saying, “We just don’t know, he says he was born there and I have no knowledge of that….”

These are the desperate moves of a party with no ideas. One wonders just how patriotic the Republican Party can claim to be these days, but then, they spent Bill Clinton’s entire presidency trying to discredit him and only succeeding after discovering a blue dress. Newt Gingrich, who claims he cheated on his many wives because he loved his country, led that charge against Clinton.

I’m not sure what causes anyone to vote Republican anymore, but they have to be people who respond well to fear and negativity and suffer from an inability to think critically for themselves. I only have one question for Ms. Beavers, and that is, “Where are the jobs?”

It used to be fringey to play birther, but the Republican Party is mainlining this far right tin foil theory. It’s apparently all they have. That wraps up this Monday morning’s version of WTF.

Image: Kaystreet

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