You send out invitations, you cross-check the date against other events, but even with careful planning, you can’t always be sure that the fickle media will consider your event worthy. Take this weekend. Thousands of people protested with Wisconsin public employees in state capitals across the country, yet the mainstream media stood us up. Gosh, what to do? How can you make sure your special event is just as special to the media?
I’m here to tell you:
10. Two words: bathing suits! Sure it’s 15 degrees, but that is why it will stand out! The media loves showing skin and may even show a sign or two. Basic rule of fashion still applies, if you did bikini/speedo protests the first time around (in the 60s and 70s) let the younger generation do it this time.
9. Invite a media darling to attend! For example, try to time your rally for when Lindsay Lohan is out on bail. Or reconvene the rally at the courthouse on her hearing day.
8. Spread rumors that someone famous is going to try to elope under the media radar at a secret location–where your rally happens to be! Reese Witherspoon’s secret wedding would attract their attention for sure!
7. Make the U.S. media jealous by showing attention to exotic foreigners like BBC and Al-Jazeera!
6. Move the rally to another country! The media went to Egypt in droves to cover their protests. Perhaps by crossing the border and sending the same message from Canada and Mexico, we’ll be more newsworthy.
5. Hold rallies at pro and college basketball games! With no football and baseball this time of year, basketball is the sport of choice for many an uninformed voter. Ok, and hockey.
4. Wait until next month and call it March Madness!
3. Make the protesters carry their sign through a course involving big inflated obstacles and pools of water like they do on reality TV shows! That’s entertainment!
2. Tie it in with something the media already cover, like the Oscars. No, seriously, this is a good idea. Just make noise, sing On Wisconsin, whatever. They can avoid showing you on camera, but they can’t avoid your noise unless they avoid the red carpet. Movie people are unionized–they get it. They might even talk about it on stage. Also, the Oscars show has a worldwide audience, and if the US media won’t cover our protesters, other countries will.
1. Call it a Tea Party protest
*These are the top 10 ways without breaking any laws or getting sued. Because that would really open up the possibilities.
Image: UFCW Local 400