Dana Milbank Goes Palin-Free Just As We Enter Reagan Worship Season

Feb 02 2011 Published by under Uncategorized

She Who Shall Not Be Named

Daring Palin addict Dana Milbank of The Washington Post was on ABC’s Topline last night discussing his pledge to make February a Palin-free month. Dana’s getting off the drugs for a whole month. Milbank said being on TV to discuss his Palin-free month is like spending your first day in AA at a bar and later he likened Michelle Bachmann to Palin methadone. The hosts of Topline put Dana to the test by showing him various imagery from a mama grizzly bear to she who shall not be named’s target map to temp him, but Dana kept his Palin-free oath. However, Dana embarks on his Palin-free month as we enter Reagan Worship Month. He will be tested.

She who shall not be named was asked recently about the pledge to make February free of her, to which she replied something about how she was glad to be ignored because then she wouldn’t be blamed for Egypt. Er, what? Her ego does seem to have gotten a wee bit big for her britches. One wonders if Palin is aware that she is not in office here or in Egypt, even if she does consider Egypt a neighboring border. Hmmm……Perhaps Dana has a point.

Milbank says no matter what, even if Palin shows up in Egypt to take over the government, he will not write about her. If his addiction becomes overwhelming, he will use Michelle Bachmann as his methadone. I’m sure both Palin and Bachmann will appreciate knowing how easily one substitutes for the other when covering the crazy lady leaders of the Tea Party.

Then the hosts played a word game with images, asking Milbank to call out the first thing that came to mind as they showed various pictures: When shown a mama grizzly picture, Milbank said “zoo”, when shown Palin’s target map, he responded, “I won’t participate in this blood libel,” (mighty close, Milbank!), and when shown a picture of Alaska and Russia close together he said, “Yes, I am prepared to talk about the Bering Strait.” Lastly they showed a picture of a McCain Palin campaign sign and Milbank said, “It says McCain Governor Parnell.” He passed day one of his pledge to be Palin-free fairly well, though the blood libel comment teetered dangerously close to Palin land.

However, it may be tough for Milbank to avoid writing about Palin this month, aka Reagan Worship Season, since Palin has desperately tried to attach herself to Saint Ronnie’s coattails in spite of having almost nothing in common with Reagan’s actual governing style. This is like going sober the month they declare Happy Hour will extend until 4 AM at your favorite bar, every night…all month long. It’s Reagan month, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Poor Dana.

It’s fittingly Palin that she would chose to attach herself to Reagan, because if ever someone were the anti-Reagan, it would be Palin who is known as the Great Divider instead of the Great Uniter. Nonetheless, in a party where image dominates, Palin will be making the rounds as Reagan’s doppelgänger this month, sucking every ounce of his beloved brand from his full tank to fuel her own wounded, running-on-empty brand and her substance-ignorant followers will never notice that she is in fact the soulless doppelgänger and not the original.

Palin will be the black swan to Reagan’s white swan, slithering her way further into the soul of the GOP with her coy librarian/dominatrix promises and destroying big daddy from within. It almost makes me like her, but in the end I can’t justify the means even if the outcome might be stabilizing and improving our government by purging it of extremists. Might being the operative word. I’m just saying, Machiavelli knew that mercenaries are utterly untrustworthy.

It’ll be interesting to see if Milbank can hold back as the fissure between the GOP and the Palin Bircher/Tea Party widens with each new poll showing both the impossibility of Palin’s winning a general election while at the same time a significant number of GOP primary voters saying they will go third party if Palin isn’t nominated.

Good times indeed! We wish Dana luck with his clean and sober month, and urge him to remember to take it One Day at a Time — oh, and stay out of bars and don’t hang with old media friends lest temptation grab him during a weak moment.

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