Dear Mr. President,
Make this relationship work or ELSE, Buster!
Oh, and by the way, we won’t be helping except to tell you what you did wrong, because that’s the way we roll. When you win a Nobel Peace Prize, we won’t be awed with pride. Nope. We’ll smirk that you didn’t deserve it and then get REALLY pissed when you don’t keep trying to please us. You suck.
When you achieve more legislation in your first year of office than any Post WWII President, we’ll refuse to acknowledge it and search out your flaws, proudly denouncing you to our friends and family—humiliating you so we can look clever and right. And then wonder why you aren’t doing what we want. You suck.
When you can’t get the obstructionists to play and we fail to read up on how our government works (so we can blame you for not closing Gitmo yet, just say), we’ll point our fingers at you with ignorant righteousness. You suck.
We’ll react hysterically to “leaked” stories (which inevitably turn out to be spun incorrectly to generate just such hysteria from us, thereby stabbing our own selves in the back, but make no mistake, this too will be your fault), and then get morally outraged that you haven’t brought “change”! You suck.
We proudly call ourselves the thinking liberals of independent spirit, whilst accusing you of being a sell out, and we’ll use right wing framed talking points from the mainstream corporate media to do it. You suck.
We will do all of this and more, as we know how successful this approach has been in our personal lives. Our marriages and friendships and working relationships thrive on finger pointing and demands, with no attempt on our part to understand the circumstances of the Other.
We will single handedly knife you in the back, as we have all of our other Democratic presidents because we don’t really want to succeed. We want to be right.
We will fall foolishly into the well-marked pit of disaster so worn out from our self-fulfilling prophecies of failure and then blame you. You suck.
When anyone points out that we need to suit up and FIGHT, with our eye on the ball, as any successful winner does, we will snort with derision and spew our rage over your many betrayals, which I may remind you started on Day One of our relationship when you invited Pastor Warren to speak. Yes, we have kept a tally of your many failings. No rose colored glasses here. You suck.
There are rules in a relationship with us. We are the back seat driver you’ve been looking for all of your life, Mr. President. And frankly, we don’t get why you aren’t so enamored of us anymore. You suck.
You do our bidding on every single issue no matter what the stupid rules are in the “government” or we will crumble into fruitless rage expressed on Twitter, FaceBook and various blogs fueled by mainstream media talking points. You suck.
And we’re entitled to all of this, because WE are no rubber stampers! You got that, mister? We are more of a mess than the Teabaggers; we can’t come together on anything and if you can’t make us, well, that is your failing. You suck!
Your Angry Majority aka, Your Base