Sarah Palin: Visor Gate or What I did on My Vacay

Dec 17 2009 Published by under Featured News, Republican Party

Palin, her husband Todd and daughter Piper and son Trig left the rest of the family in Wasilla or Palmer or who knows where and took off for HI for a little R and R. Sarah sported her John McCain for President visor, but Sister Sarah had crossed out McCain’s name with black marker. Goin’ Rogue!

But you know how Sarah is addicted to attention and secretly burning with envy over how “tiny Hollywood starlets” are chased by Paparazzi? So, she gave TMZ a head’s up and plopped herself and her family on a public beach (when she’s staying at the Waikiki Hilton which has a private beach area) and then posed herself in various fetching Paris Hilton possible photos:

Busy and Important Sarah on her Blackberry.

Sarah as Holy Mother Playing with Children.

Sarah in her John McCain visor, but Sister Sarah had crossed out McCain’s name with black marker. Goin’ Rogue!

Sarah in her “If you Don’t love America, get the HELL out!” t-shirt for a shout out to her peeps who might be just getting out jail yesterday AM, a bit ‘o the Maverick!

You know the usual tiny Hollywood Starlet routine. Linsdey Lohan, Britney Spears level, for sure, but still she’s a VIP!

“The failed Vice Presidential nominee took time off from shilling her book to vacation with her son Trig, daughter Piper and opposite sex spouse Todd, in President Barack Obama’s birth state of Hawaii on Tuesday.

But during beach time, Sarah chose to wear a visor from her campaign — a visor that was emblazoned with the former presidential candidate’s name … that is, until Palin redacted McCain’s name with a black marker.”

And gee, whiz, can you imagine? Within minutes of those TMZ pictures being posted, Politico had a push back response from Palin.

“Palin said in the statement to POLITICO: “I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way. I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection.”

Luckily, she has Mike Allen’s number at Politico handy, on redial perhaps, for whenever she needs a little attention. Like the time she called him late on a school night to announce she was at “Michael’s” for dinner in NY, where all the coolest celebrities went, and Mike would be allowed to ask her two questions (which she supplied for him). Poor Sarah only figured out the next day that Michael’s is the place to be seen at LUNCH. Dinner at Michael’s is a career non-starter. At least they served her beer in the aluminum can with a straw like she likes it. Oh, no, I kid. I kid.

So Palin spent the next hour “Pushing back hard” with Politico instead of hanging with her kids and hubby, claiming that she “had the utmost respect for McCain” and only crossed his name out so she could be ‘incognito’. Palin knows that “incognito” is NOT a Plato quote to be tweeted, so don’t tell me she can’t run in 2012!

Psst! It would have been a lot easier to be incognito on the private part of the beach, there, Sarah. Just sayin’.

Well, she may have learned after other pictures were released which were extremely unflattering. The back of the legs, bent over, no make up unflattering. Tara Reid-post-liposuction-trauma unflattering. Oh, Sarah. First Costco and now this. Please get it together, woman.

Seeing that Sarah was a real person was indeed troubling for her fans. They were crying last night, deep in grief, but finally found a way to spin the unveiling of their Miraculous Holy Mother and Pin Up Gal. Any takers? These unflattering pictures will GROW her base! Yes, they are sure that Liberal women will now vote for Palin because Palin has “cellulite” and “flabby legs”. Sadly, they don’t address Republican men…who knows, maybe if she does another photoshopped Runner’s World Cover in pantyhose, perfection can be restored for the GOPPER crowd. We all know a woman isn’t OK the way she is in certain circles.

A snippet from Conservatives for Palin’s weeping wall over the fall from grace:

KeeleyH :”Flabby thighs? Great way to get the liberal women’s votes, they can FINALLY identify with her!””

Wow, Keeley! You so called that one! Like, totally! Also, too, I LOVE your sparkly nails, Keeley! Love SARAH! We LOVE you Sarah!

Sarah is truly a gift to us all. I’m almost ready to give up on my rights and just toss it all in. That Keeley sure knows how we Liberals think! Gee, it would just feel good to finally be a part of something where one could just throw all thought out the door.

And just think, it took Sarah Palin, Patriarchal Barbie, to make cellulite glamorous! Free at last! Oh, mighty God, we’re free at last!

Thank you, Republicans, for really getting us women. Gosh, it feels GREAT to be understood. We don’t mind being objectified at all! We just want a female President with “flabby thighs”, because heaven knows, it’s all about how we look.

Meanwhile, poor Lizard McCain is somewhere worrying about losing the teabaggers’ votes now that Sarah’s made her power known to him via her TMZ famous redacted visor.

Lizard: -5
Grifter: +10
Entertainment Value: Priceless

Photo Credit: TMZ

10 responses so far