Hong Kong Palin: Sarah’s Latest 2012 Gimmick

Sep 01 2009 Published by under Featured News, Republican Party

In what’s been described as the “American Ding Dong goes to Hong Kong” by astute international posters, Mrs. Sarah Palin (failed beauty contestant, failed VP candidate, and aborted first term Governor) has been asked to speak at the CLSA Investment Convention in Hong Kong, where she will give a speech on a topic such as geopolitics.

Let that sink in for a few minutes, and if you’re not cringing yet, here’s some Sarah Speak to jog your memory:

“Oil of coal, of course, is a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, ya know, the molecules where, where it’s going to, where it’s not, but and in the, in the sense of the Congress today they know our very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So I believe that what Congress is going to do also is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here; it’s gotta flow into our domestic markets first.”

That, of course, was her “answer” to a question regarding ….oh, well, it doesn’t really matter what the question was, does it? Wink, wink. It’s worthy of a luminary, no? That person can talk about geopolitics, sure, no problem, you betcha!

“Our keynote speakers are notable luminaries who often address topics that go beyond traditional finance such as geopolitics,” CLSA company spokeswoman Simone Wheeler said in a statement.

However, The Asia Sentinel wasn’t quite as generous:

“Former US Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who is viewed with equal fervor as an ignorant fool or the voice of the common man by those who either loathe or love her, is coming to Hong Kong to seek international street cred.

The decision to bring in Palin as keynote speaker has been met with incredulity from many among the business community in Hong Kong.

“Honestly? This isn’t a hoax?” asked the managing director of a Hong Kong business chain. “It’s entertaining perhaps, in a road accident sort of way! Now I’ve seen everything.”

Another investor, however, suggested:

“…It might be a way of ingratiating with Beijing by making America look ridiculous,” he fumed.”



This will be Sarah’s third trip out of the country, and her first to Asia. She’s had a passport for under 2 years. Currently, Sarah’s busy emailing her father (from an undisclosed location) questions about how may points she scored in her high school basketball games. This activity has been described as “writing her book”. Looks like Sarah’s building her resume! Woot, woot! Take that, evil liberals!

Ooopsie, not so fast. Here comes The Business Insider’s take:

“CLSA, the Asia-focused broker who invited Mrs. Palin as keynote speaker
for an Asian investment conference, is well known for their cheeky takes on investment research.

In the past, they’ve polled Asian fortune tellers for index targets, hired anime cartoonists to draw Japanese research, and generally love to push the boundaries between entertainment and analysis. They are a real research firm, it’s just that they love to sprinkle in some hilarity every now and then as a smart marketing gimmick.”


Oh, snap!

So, while she’ll be sure to humiliate and embarrass America internationally as she gets punk’d (aka,”speaks”), we can comfort ourselves with the knowledge that at least we’re manufacturing something here in America.

Even if it is only a cheap GOP gimmick, albeit one dressed in red patent leather peep-toes and a miniskirt. After all, an export is an export. Yes, take heart, America; Sarah’s “geopolitical” speech outta be a comedy goldmine!

Luminary, or gimmick? I’ll go get ya’ some, and I’ll get right back to ya’.

Dim Sum sure to follow.

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